7 Ways How To Improve Your Relationship

Excellent relationships don’t just materialize. I’ve heard many people say that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship for me.” This is not a true statement, any more than to say it is true that you don’t have to work hard at good physical health with exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

I’ve discovered 7 ways how to improve your relationship that will not only greatly improve your relationship, but can turn a faltering relationship into a successful one.

Dealing With Relationships May Also Shed Some Light On The Subject.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most significant choice you can make to improve your relationship. This suggests that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and wants. It means that instead of requiring your partner or spouse to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thinkings and actions. It means discovering how to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance besides self-judgment.

For instance, besides getting angry at your better half or spouse for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is not punctual, deep in thought and not listening to you, etcetera, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you discover how to take full responsibility for yourself, then you quit faulting your partner/spouse for your problems, this is not one of the ways how to improve your relationship. Since blaming your partner for your own unhappiness is the first cause of relationship troubles, learning how to take care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others in the same manner as you want to be treated. We all want to be treated lovingly – with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Relationships prosper when both parties treat one another with kindness.

If your spouse is always angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to concentrate on what would be loving to yourself instead of reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal or compliance which are all part of the ways how to improve your relationship . Kindness to others doesn't mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is one of the most important things you can do.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When there is conflict, you always have two choices: you can be open to learning about yourself and your partner or spouse and discover the deeper issues causing the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We’ve all tried many subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, care taking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on.

For instance, most of us have two major fears that are triggered in relationships: the fear of abandonment and the fear of engulfment.
When these fears are activated, most people instantly protect themselves through controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of trying to control your partner, your fears disappear. This is how we develop emotionally by learning rather than controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When couples first fall in love, they make time for one another. Then, particularly after getting married, they become busy. Relationships need time to flourish. It is vitally important to earmark specific times to be together – to talk, play, make love etc.
This is one of the corner stones of the 7 ways how to improve your relationship intimacy can't be sustained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy is present between two people when there's an “attitude of gratitude.” Incessant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which isn't fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than concentrating on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” All work and no play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships prosper when couples laugh together, play together, and when good humor is a part of everyday life. Don't take everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life.

SERVICE

A tremendous way of creating intimacy is undertake service projects together. Giving to others fills up the heart and produces deep satisfaction of the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own troubles and underpins a wider, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your spouse agree on these 7 ways how to improve your relationship, you'll be astounded at the improvement in your relationship!

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